Tuesday, February 7, 2012

3 Weeks

I really haven't been trying to ignore my blog, it's just that the cord for our camera is lost and I don't think updates are as fun without pictures.  But, I have a lot I want to say, so...

The past three weeks have been such a learning experience for me.  I keep trying to write down all my thoughts and feelings, and I just can't put them into words, but I am so thankful for the lessons I've learned.  What a month!

Last week I tried to jump back into life, I taught all my classes at iFamily, and attended Aliysa's play, then was up most of the night on Thursday with kids with tummy aches and bad dreams.  Well, I found out that there are some limits to what I can do physically.  Geesh!  I've been so tired! 

I guess it can take a month or so for your blood supply to build back up.  I was so exhausted, I couldn't even think about accomplishing anything, wearing makeup or functioning normally.  

Bob looked at me at the play on Thursday night and made me get home to bed.  Well, I slept and rested again for a few days, and now I'm trying to get back into life again.  I feel like I might just be able to do it this time.

Each day lately I look at Taycie and think what a miracle her life is – and each of my other children. I've been able to think about this a lot over the last few weeks.  I don't know when or if I will be blessed with more children, but I'm so grateful for each one of them that I do have. 

Being so weak and lightheaded and so limited in what I can do has taught me to be more grateful for the health and strength that I usually have.  Before this month, I’ve always kind of felt disappointed in my body, my fitness level, and I’ve always looked at my flaws.  I've taken for granted the blessing of being able to get up each morning and do everything I need to. Yesterday I got on the exercise bike and just biked for 20 minutes.  I couldn't believe how much weaker I was!  Those 2 1/2 months of pregnancy were very hard on me, I was exhausted the whole time, and now I've been even more tired.  The last two days though, I've felt much better and and it makes me happy.  

The last 3 weeks I wasn't able to think very well.  I couldn't remember names, and I just felt fuzzy headed, confused, and kind of anxious and emotional about everything.  I was starting to worry that I might just have some inner desire to be a bed-ridden invalid.  Now that I'm feeling more energy, I am happy to realize that I like being up and about and accomplishing things.

I’m thankful for the understanding words that my husband and friends have been willing to give me.  They mean so much! 

I’m so thankful for Bob.  He has really tried to take good care of me.  He’s been able to tell better than I could when I needed to go to the hospital, get more rest, etc.  What would I do without him?  He is such a good man.

I am thankful for the full-body hugs that Taycie gives me lately.  She hugs me with all the energy she has, and she fills my arms and my heart.  

Well, I could go on and on, but I need to get all the stuff ready for mutual tonight, and get everything in the car for our iFamily classes in the morning.  

As soon as I find our camera cord, I'll be posting pictures from December and January, Aliysa's play, and our iFamily classes.  Last week in my Earth Science class, we had so much fun!  We talked about the layers of the earth (with hard boiled eggs as a model), and made edible aquifers.  Tomorrow we'll be learning about rocks and minerals and fossils.  So much fun!

2 comments:

Melissa said...

Oh Tasha, I'm so sorry you have been feeling so badly! I think I would feel that way all the time if I took on all that you do. You are amazing! I was showing Cory your family picture this evening, and Katelund, my 8 year old, said, "which one is the mommy?" That's quite the compliment. :) I hope you continue to get your full strength back, but in the meantime, rest, rest, rest! After losing a baby, I learned what a miracle pregnancy and birth truly are and how easily things can go wrong.

Tara said...

What do you mean?!?!?!? Your bad days are my best days! I think you are amazing and one of these days I'm going to figure out how you do it all. I just hope you get as many kids as you desire. You are amazing.