The Latest

Dr. Christopher Jolles

 Yesterday we met with Dr. Christopher Jolles.  He was called into emergency surgery, so we waited 3 hrs. for him to get back into the office. Our meeting went as well as possible, he is such a kind doctor.

• My CT scan was clear.  He looked over the results and said "this is very good news".  This means the cancer has not spread from the uterus, as he had expected it would have.
• My hcg levels went down again - to 8,000ish.  Through natural therapies, and lots of prayers and fasting, we have gotten it to go from 18,000 to 8,000 in 10 days.  This gives us a lot of hope.
• The fact that I had a miscarriage in January is a good sign, statistics show that the tumor will be less resistant to treatment than if it had occurred after a normal pregnancy.  

He sat down and outlined a treatment plan for now, and the future (for after future pregnancies, etc.)
I was feeling so drained, tired, and emotional that I didn't ask any questions.

Bob knew the question I was dying to ask, so he commented on the fact that we've been able to have the hcg levels decrease two weeks in a row, and asked how long we could try natural therapies to get the hcg levels to zero.  Dr. Jolles said he would be all right with two weeks (not his first recommendation, but it would not pose a big risk).  Then he looked me in the eyes and said very seriously, "but don't let it go for three weeks." 

This is the fastest growing type of cancer of any.  It is also the most easily affected by treatment.

Carrot juice

So, we have two weeks.  If it isn't at zero, we will go ahead with chemotherapy.  I have lots of decisions to make.

We know that the prayers of friends and family has helped so much.  We feel the strength of your prayers.  Thank you, everyone!

Yesterday Bob and I met with Dr. Christopher Jolles, a gynecological oncologist in Utah.  We drove down together and had a fun time talking on the way.  My parents treated us to lunch at Whole Foods in Salt Lake, where I enjoyed eating a salad.  It was nice after only having carrot juice for days now.  I ate too much, but luckily, it was salad.


We enjoyed visiting with my parents, my sister Lisa, Bet and Britt, and Nan and her kids.  Lisa almost couldn't get away from work, but when I texted her to say "that's okay, I know sometimes work is more important than your sister who has cancer", she decided to come!  :)  [Love you, Lisa!]

A few people have wondered what natural therapies I have been trying, so I will answer that. Basically we want to be doing all we can that will not do harm.  I have been taking vitamin B17 (laetrile), in the form of apricot pits.  There is a book entitled "World Without Cancer" that talks about laetrile being effective against cancer.  Bob used this with great success years ago when he had a fast growing tumor on his ear.  The pits are extremely bitter, but if they do kill cancer cells, I can handle a little bitterness.  I have not tried following them with chocolate chip cookies like my Father in Law did when he had cancer.  Maybe that is the secret to success?

I have also been juicing carrots and doing a juice fast.  I have been surprised how good I've felt since doing this.  As long as I take the carrot juice with supplements, I am not hungry.  So, I take Turmeric, an enzyme supplement, Standard Processes multi-vitamin, vitamin d, vitamin k, iodine, and calcium supplements, along with some herbal supplements (lower bowel herbs and herbal calcium), and slippery elm and coconut oil.  When I started this, my symptoms- cramping, etc. disappeared within 2 days, and my hcg dropped.  It is also important to have adequate zinc and enzymes for the laetrile to do its job.

Dr Jolles was very nice to talk to, was amazingly respectful of the natural treatments that we have been doing and told me to continue with them, but to make sure I am not taking excess folic acid (this type of cancer requires folic acid to survive).  He was aware of laetrile as a cancer therapy, and asked us a few questions about it.  He answered all of our questions in great detail and told us more of what to expect. 

Dr. Jolles is one of the most experienced in dealing with this type of cancer.  It was the first cancer to be killed by chemotherapy drugs, back in the 1950s.  It has been studied almost more than any other cancer.  There are very few deaths from this kind of cancer, when the proper protocol is followed. 

One interesting fact, he said it was good news that I had a miscarriage in January.  An abnormal pregnancy before a molar pregnancy usually means the cancer will be less resistant to chemotherapy.  Especially since  they were so close.  A molar pregnancy right after a healthy pregnancy isn't as easy to cure.  They don't know why this is.

If I do get the chemotherapy treatment, it is not a simple "shot", as my doctor here had described.  Rather, "one treatment" consists of one week (Monday through Friday), of i.v. chemotherapy treatments with one type of medicine, then another week, Monday through Friday, of a second type of medicine. 

After they get the hcg numbers to drop to 0, then they will do three more rounds/treatments.  So, the minimum would be 8 weeks of i.v. chemotherapy.  The side effects are minimal, but not fun:  sores in your mouth and throat (with possible hospitalization for this), sensitivity to light, etc.

He gave me an exam, a prescription, and orders for more blood tests (blood count, hcg, and a liver function test), and ct scans of my brain, lungs, pelvis, etc.

I asked him what the risks would be if we continued with the natural therapies that we have been doing (instead of starting right into chemotherapy).  He said we would discuss that after we see the ct scans. If the cancer has spread or there are tumors, I don't think he'll want me to consider that.

He wanted the ct scan right away, so his secretary scheduled one with the hospital in Riverton.   I got to end the carrot juice fast in a hurry with a huge sugary crystal light drink in preparation for the ct scan, then have my body injected with dye for the scan.  The ct scan was an interesting experience. 

By the time we were done with the ct scans and blood tests, it was after 10pm.  We stopped at Wal-Mart to grab a few things, and found out that the "Hunger Games" dvd was being released that night.  There was a party going on at Wal-Mart with lots of customers dressed up in wild costumes, standing in line to get the dvd.  Crazy. 

We got home and crashed into bed around 3am. 

The range of emotions and thoughts from all of this is impossible to explain.  I just want to be led to make the best decision.  And at heart, I just want to do things in an all-natural way.  But, I don't want to die of cancer, either.  Mostly, I just want to be done with this, and get to focus on real life instead. 
 
We go back to meet with Dr. Jolles on Monday to discuss the results of these tests.  He doesn't want to do it over the phone.  So, we get to have another quick trip. 

Motherhood

I read a beautiful blog post about motherhood today.  You can read it here.  It is full of wonderful quotes about our influence and roles as mothers. 

Our Family Doctor

Yesterday morning, Bob started wheezing again and not feeling good, noise was bothering him (not a good thing around here), etc.  He was trying to go to work, but just couldn't.  I was getting worried, so I researched his symptoms, and wondered if he might be developing asthma. 

So, he went to see our doctor, Jim Brook .  He is an amazing doctor and our good friend, who practices "free market medicine".  Within 3 minutes he had diagnosed a severe sinus infection, and given him 2 prescriptions (antibiotic and steroid).  By yesterday evening, Bob was feeling better than he has for days.  Today he is feeling even better.  Our doctor was surprised that the ER didn't diagnose a sinus infection from his symptoms.  His airway really was closing off. 

I think Bob is feeling less jealous now that he got to go to the hospital, doctor, and to Wal-Mart to drive on the cart.  I'll try to not have too many more doctor visits, or who knows what else he will try. 

The man who is rarely sick...

Bob has been improving for a few days, but he still was really weak and not feeling well.  We realized that he had been badly dehydrated.  Yesterday, he got up in the morning to try to drive with Aliysa and Jace to Utah for his Nephew Brent's wedding.  But he just didn't have the strength and he felt dizzy and faint.  I'm so glad he decided to stay home.  Aliysa and Jace went on their own.

Last night I went to the store to buy carrots for juicing and a couple more nutritional supplements.  Bob wanted to come with, but just couldn't get out of bed.  When I got home, he did not look well.  He informed me that he was having difficulty breathing.  I wish I would have taken him to the hospital right then (well, I really wish I had a few days ago when he was so sick).  He wanted a priesthood blessing, so I started trying to find someone.  Family members and our home teachers were not home, and everything was taking so long, and I was going much slower than I should have.  Bob was walking in circles in the front yard, because if he sat or laid down, he couldn't breathe.  He was agitated, and kept trying to do things like repair the fence around our garden.  I finally thought to call one of our kind neighbors, and he said he would come over.

Before he got here, Bob poked his head in the front door and told me to pull the van out of the garage.  I realized that he was really having a hard time.  I've never seen him like this.  I told the kids that we were leaving, grabbed my purse, and headed out.  I didn't realize it yet, but Bob was hyperventilating at this point.  Our friend showed up and he and our other friend gave Bob a blessing.  It was short, but filled me with peace as Bob was told that he would be healed.

We drove off and I sped to the hospital.  Bob kept telling me to speed faster.  He called 911 on the way to tell them we were speeding and we didn't want to be pulled over because he couldn't breathe.  They told him that they couldn't give him permission to speed, but they could send an ambulance.  Bob said we weren't going to stop.  Then they transferred his call to the hospital, and Bob again had to try to explain what was going on, all while gasping for breath.  That person didn't know what to do, so they transferred his call again.  The person on the other line didn't know why this call was coming in, so Bob had to try to explain the whole situation again. It was absurd.

I was trying to get him to give me the phone, but he wanted me to focus on driving. No one could understand what he was trying to tell them, and this call ended with them saying they couldn't really help him over the phone, but they would see him when he got to the emergency room, and they hung up on him because he was getting a little worked up.  Poor man, he was worried that he was dying and no one would listen.

Bob's brother in law, Dan, was working as a paramedic that night, and we are SO grateful that he offered to meet us at the hospital, because Bob was (in Dan's words) "done" at that point.  He didn't bother even talking to the check-in person.  He gasped "I'm going in there...because that is where they take care of people" and he headed back into the emergency room.  People were asking him to sit down in a wheelchair, but he was having none of it.  At this point Dan walked up and saw how Bob looked, and he grabbed one of Bob's arms, and another nurse grabbed Bob's other arm, and Bob basically collapsed just as they got him.  It was scary.  I checked in, signed papers, went back out to park the van, and headed in to check on Bob.

He was still gasping, and wouldn't stop talking.  (He says it helped him to breathe, but I just wanted to see him resting and breathing deeply.  I don't think he could breathe deeply at that point though).   They gave him an i.v., oxygen, some medication to calm down, and took a chest x-ray, etc...

The medication took a little while to kick in, so he had time to give the person he had talked to on the phone a hard time.  I don't think Bob was his favorite patient that evening, nor was he Bob's favorite person.  But everyone took good care of him, and after midnight they sent him home with a glass of orange juice, a pill in case he started having breathing problems again, and a diagnosis of dehydration and hyperventilation.

 We stopped at Wal-Mart to get juice for Bob.  He insisted on coming in with me (I don't think this man knows how to rest). He got to ride one of the nifty carts. 

 We got home to find that Courtney had done a wonderful job babysitting (Aliysa and Jace are in Utah).  The house was clean, and all the kids were having a slumber party in the family room.  I picked up Taycie, who was cuddled next to Courtney, put her in her crib, and we collapsed into bed at 2am.  Bob is doing better this morning, it is so nice to see him doing well, and his personality coming back. 

Well, geesh.  We'll see what else we can do for excitement before this year is up.

Bad News

A picture from my D&C in June

Okay, a break from the fun posts to update on my health.

After the molar pregnancy, they were monitoring my hcg (pregnancy hormone) levels weekly because there is a chance of cancer.  At first they decreased, but then we got the bad news that they were rising.  The only thing that causes hcg to rise is pregnancy, or choriocarcinoma.

So...it looks like I have cancer.

I have been in for a chest x-ray (often this can spread to the lungs, liver or brain).  It came back clear.
We had an ultrasound - it looked clear (no huge tumor), but they obviously can't see if there are small cancerous cells.

We had another blood test on Tuesday, and the hcg is still rising.
This what the levels have been:
225,000 (before the surgery)
9,000
6,000
16,000
18,000
I have an appointment scheduled with an oncologist in SLC for next week.  He will most likely do a chemotherapy shot.  Perhaps recommend hysterectomy.
I am prayerfully considering all options.  I like to do things naturally, but I don't want to mess around with this. However, studies like this one make me question chemotherapy.
I had a blessing, and have felt perfectly sure after that that everything will turn out fine.  Now I'm praying to make wise decisions.
I was told in the blessing to get more sleep and rest.  So, I'm trying to.
Thanks so much to all of you who have been praying and fasting...it means so much to us.

Splish Splash

Courtney had to go to the dentist...to finish up two root canals and a crown.  Sigh...this is the year for medical expenses for us.  

While we were in Rexburg, we decided to cool off a little

 We went to the splash park. 

I love these pictures, they perfectly capture Taycie's love of life.  She is always jumping with joy and laughing with all her might.

We also decided to ride on the carousel while we were there, because Abby reminded me that she "has never been on a carousel!" When I went to put her up on this horse, her whole body went limp, and she looked terrified.  I flopped her up on the horse and reminded her to look at me and smile and wave so I could take a picture.  It was so funny each time she came around.  She had a death grip on the pole, and a look of complete fear, but she would put on a little smile for me each time around.  She never waved. If you look closely you can see that even her feet are tightly wrapped around the horse. 

Her brothers, on the other hand, were showing me how they could ride with no hands, and I was just hoping they wouldn't try standing up or something like that.

Tis the season....

 Football season has begun...

And Spud is so excited.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 This is how Bob spent his birthday...the entire day.  The night before, he started having body aches, chills, a fever, and a massive headache.  He didn't eat, and went to bed.  

The next day (his birthday), he stayed in bed the entire day.  I can't even remember the last time he was very sick.  He never stays down, even if he doesn't feel well.  But all day, he was burning up with a fever, had a horrible headache, his eyes hurt, etc.  We tried to stay quiet, but finally decided to celebrate, so we tiptoed into his room, whispered the happy birthday song,

 and had him open his presents.  Aliysa shares a birthday with Bob, this is their birthday picture.  Lissy ended up spending time with friends on her birthday (no huge party like most years).  We had ice cream, no cake, and Bob didn't eat a thing all day. 

The next day, he was in bed all morning.  I had to take Courtney to the dentist, and when I got home, I found out he had tried to go to Spencer's football practice (Bob is the head coach).  I came home and he was dressed, had shoes on, and he was curled up, hanging off the edge of the bed because he didn't have enough strength to really climb all the way into bed.  He had tried to go to practice, but that's as far as he got.  Today he has gotten up (he had places he had to be), but then he comes home and crashes.  He has eaten a little bit of food, but his legs look really skinny.  Poor man.

 Abby and Taycie celebrated the birthday by dressing up together.  Oh, I love these little girls.

Another driver

This is Jace, getting into our car on his last day of Driver's Ed.  Yeay!  He made it!   Now comes the fun of letting him drive with his permit.  We'll see if he can do better than, um, other first time drivers in this home.  (Someone else took out a mailbox, garage door, side of the garage, several trees, backed into her acting teacher's car, and ran over our dog.)  Luckily, he already seems like a very conscientious driver.  He got around a 97% in his class.  My little guy is growing up.

Cucumbers!

 So, this last winter, Abby started praying each day that "we will plant pumpkins and cucumbers in our garden."  We have no idea how she came up with it, but we decided that we better do our part to help this prayer be answered.  We had a lot of trouble with both the cucumber and pumpkin plants.  Our seedlings didn't work, then the deer...but finally, we harvested our first cucumber!  Abby got to pick it, and she was so excited.  She sliced it into 11 slices so each person in the family got to taste it. 

Now, we're praying for the pumpkins...c'mon, grow, grow!

Pioneer Day

 We had our stake pioneer day celebration.  It was lots of fun, dinner, dunking tank, fish pond, etc.  

I took only a few pictures, of the pony rides. 

Mommy Daughter Date

 So, for those of you who know Mallory, you know how responsible and helpful she is.  She was born wanting to work hard, nurture, and just generally help everything run smoothly.  When I went through the recent health problems, she was a superstar helper.  Often the older children would all have to be gone different places, and she would be at home, feeding younger siblings, changing diapers, bathing the little girls, reading stories, helping them get tucked in bed.  She was amazing.  There were times where I just really couldn't do much at all.  All my children were so helpful, but Mallory takes it all upon herself and she is the hardest working person I've ever met.  So, I told her the other day that it was time for a mother-daughter date.  We went and got her hair cut (JCPenney is giving free kids cuts this entire month!), then went shopping for some new clothes she needed, and then went out to eat at a pizza and salad buffet.  We had a wonderful time. 

Mallory, I'm so glad that you are my daughter.  You have an amazing and strong spirit and I love you so much.

Soccer Time!

 Mallory just finished her first season of soccer.  

It was so neat to watch her, in 8 games, go from this...

...to this:

We loved going to the games:

 Abby and Taycie made some new friends...so cute!

 Her team won their last game 11-0.
What a fun season!